Taser Chess: No, Masochism Is Not a Shortcut to Chess Stardom

Gizmodo · Mar 2, 2026 · Collected from RSS

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As someone who has alarmed multiple subway cars by swearing loudly at my telephone on one of the rare occasions I’ve been able to beat it on easy mode, trust me when I say I am very familiar with the special brand of despair that comes from a) really liking chess and b) being deeply average at chess. But! Perhaps the answer to upping my game lies with ritual humiliation at the hands of… Taser Chess. This fetish device innovative training aid, is the brainchild of someone who goes by the name of Everything is Hacked, and it’s exactly what it sounds like: a chessboard that administers an electric shock to you every time you do something dumb. It was apparently inspired by its creator’s desire to stop losing money to the chess hustlers in Union Square. This, frankly, is a fool’s errand—as anyone who’s had the joy of having their arse handed to them by one of said chess hustlers can attest, those guys are good. There’s a video on Everything is Hacked’s YouTube channel in which our plucky chess hopeful catalogues the creation of his hellish chess Skinner box. The video explains that the shocks are delivered by something called a “TENS Unit”, with “TENS” an acronym for “transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation.” “It’s supposed to be a medical device,” says EiH, ”but turn it up high enough, and… [cry of pain].” The chess part runs on a Raspberry Pi preloaded with Stockfish, which is the Rolls-Royce of chess engines, and which can be set up to rate the merits of every move you make. Stockfish knows all, and Stockfish is merciless. Stockfish thinks your move was rubbish? That’s a shockin’. Touch a piece you’re not allowed to move? That’s a shockin’. Take too long to make a move? That’s a shockin’. Fail to solve one of the million on-board chess puzzles correctly? That’s a shockin’. Blunder your queen? Oh, you better believe that’s a shockin’. The video also shows EiH testing his invention out on some fellow YouTubers—including, amusingly, Mehdi “ElectroBOOM” Sadaghdar, a man who is all too familiar with being zapped unexpectedly. (Hassan appears decidedly unimpressed with the amount of current being delivered to his hand, and then menaces EiH with some sort of cattle prod.) As the Taser Chess journey concludes, a year after it began, we watch EiH returning to Union Square. He tries to test the board on the hustlers, who want absolutely no part of it, so eventually he settles for playing on their boards—at which point they administer a series of sound thrashings. Again. So is masochism the route to chess stardom? It appears not—which, honestly, comes as something of a relief (to me, at least). Perhaps one day someone will come up with a shortcut that works. But for now, it’s back to the well-thumbed copy of Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess that has been lurking in my bathroom for years—and to losing regularly to my telephone.